Moxie's Journal

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MoxieMerle
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Re: Moxie's Journal

Post by MoxieMerle » September 16th, 2017, 1:35 am

AP/Regular dream crossover: 3) AP through Hallucinogens (LHT)

I was with someone who knew where to find a way to immediately induce astral projection, and they were taking me there. The place was up a long path that lead us way up into the mountains. It wasn't cold or snowy, but it was foggy and sort of hard to breathe. I didn't really see the person who I was with, but from the corner of my eyes, they were wearing a blue, black, and white robe. We then approached an open building (by open, I mean there was one part of the building where the path went through, of which there was no wall or anything) which we went into. There was a table with a cone incense holder and some matches. When we got inside, a man and woman (who I assumed was his apprentice) approached us. "You are here to find someone?" The man asked. I was surprised because neither of us had met him before or talked to him or the woman, so I didn't know how he knew that. Anyway, I nodded, and he gestured for me to sit. He offered me some sort of chips as I sat at the table with the incense, so I took one, not wanting to be rude. As I ate the chip, he lit an incense. The chip tasted plain, with a weird oregano taste/ting to it. "What kind of chips are these?" I asked as I ate another one. "LHT," the old man said. "They will project you, and you will look for him." Suddenly, everything started moving like it was made of water, and everything was wavy. Everything around me became blurry and very bright. I closed my eyes then and opened them again. I was floating now, and it looked like it was night time. I wasn't in the open building with the two men and woman anymore, but there was a longer building that looked like it was running a business. I willed myself inside inside. Everything seemed pretty much closed, except for a few offices. There were still some sections that were active with people, but most of the lights were turned off. 'I have to look for Michael,' I thought, and started looking throughout the building. The offices that were opened with people in them were the ones I looked through. There were boxes of papers, and i Looked for Michael's name on anything. Most of the papers had pictures of the person on them, but none of them were for Michael. I was about to look on the computer, but as soon as I turned the screen on, someone (a larger man with a bowl-cut hairstyle) came in, so I zoomed out of the room. For some reason I felt that he could see me, because he looked back in the direction I left. I sort of called out to Michael to see if he could hear me, but it was more of a whisper, so I wasn't sure if it was even worth it. I kept calling, though, and kept looking around the building. I went to the area where there were a lot of people, but one of them seemed to look right at me, stunned. He pointed at someone (a lady in red with blonde hair pulled back in a hairtye) and said something, then pointed at me and started speaking on a bluetooth/radio receiver thing. Him and two other people started chasing after me, so I bailed from that area and dived down to a lower area, calling out loud for Michael, now. Suddenly, y vision started flashing in and out, and I could see myself in the chair by the incense again. Everything became normal and solid, and the two men and woman were still there. "What was that?!" I exclaimed. "LHT," the old man said, and state what it was short for (which I don't remember what he said), then told me it was an edible hallucinogen. The dream ended.


Commentary: Honestly I think this one was more of just a regular dream, but it had to do with APing so I guess I see it fit to post here.

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Re: Moxie's Journal

Post by hydro1 » September 30th, 2017, 7:40 pm

i finally made it to your journal Moxie lol. so far i've read the first two, and I guess its safe to say Michael is a guide/soul mate, at first i was thinking while reading maybe its a brother who died in the womb, maybe i should ask her to ask her mom about maybe another baby that may have died before you, But then when you made it to the part where you saw his grandparents and didn't recognize them from no one in your family, then and only then i was able to say yeah Michael is truly her guide (Maybe). I wish i had someone to wake me in my dreams, there's so much i want to do and learn. I found it odd in your second LD that your other guides didn't interacted with your presence in the room only Michael did, it sort of made me have a negative thought but i must investigate further, before i assume something so crazy. I will get to more of your experiences a bit later, I have to work, my job as a Security Guard has me away alot now, at first i had free time cause i didn't have a job at all, but things are changing i hope. Til next time take care
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Re: Moxie's Journal

Post by MoxieMerle » October 4th, 2017, 12:36 am

hydro1 wrote:
September 30th, 2017, 7:40 pm
i finally made it to your journal Moxie lol. so far i've read the first two, and I guess its safe to say Michael is a guide/soul mate, at first i was thinking while reading maybe its a brother who died in the womb, maybe i should ask her to ask her mom about maybe another baby that may have died before you, But then when you made it to the part where you saw his grandparents and didn't recognize them from no one in your family, then and only then i was able to say yeah Michael is truly her guide (Maybe). I wish i had someone to wake me in my dreams, there's so much i want to do and learn. I found it odd in your second LD that your other guides didn't interacted with your presence in the room only Michael did, it sort of made me have a negative thought but i must investigate further, before i assume something so crazy. I will get to more of your experiences a bit later, I have to work, my job as a Security Guard has me away alot now, at first i had free time cause i didn't have a job at all, but things are changing i hope. Til next time take care
I thought about that, too, but we have a more romantic feel than anything. These aren't my only encounters with him - I've had 50+ dreams that have included him. Since I don't have any other AP/LD experiences to post, I may just end up posting all the dreams I've had of Michael, because they really are extraordinary. Some of them make me feel like he's a guide, but a lot of them point to soul mate. However (and unfortunately), I don't think he's in this life. I would really love for him to be, and I'll never stop searching and always have an eye out for him, but I think this is our way of communication in this life. Instead of being here physically, he's my guide instead. But that's just one theory. I also strongly believe in dream sharing, as I've experienced it before with my brother and a friend. That being said, I think it could be possible that he's very good at dream sharing.

There is one thing that I'd like to mention - I have one vague memory that may be connected to Michael. First off, let me start off with this - supposedly your brain remembers every face you see, and that it can't make it's own during dreams...which would mean that I would had to have seen Michael before, right? Right. Well, I used to go to summer camp when I was younger (like, between ages 11-14). I think we had just gotten done with our last activity, and I was by the water front. I left to go to the dining hall (or somewhere in that direction), and there was a group of guys by the center pit outside of the Earth Lodge. The sun was in my eyes so I couldn't see their faces very well, but there was one guy who stood out to me; he had long, wavy blond hair a little past his shoulders, wore a dark t-shirt and black shorts. But I couldn't see specific details because of the sun. I remember thinking he was cute and I was really insecure back then, so I looked away and just walked past him hoping he wouldn't notice me. But I think he did, and his friends were kind of laughing at him?
Anyway, I don't know if it was really Michael, but I really do feel like it could have been, or maybe that's where these have been coming from. The weird coincidence though, is that after that moment by him, that's when I started remember all of my dreams. They weren't even of Michael, but they were so vivid I can still remember them clearly even though they were several years ago. I didn't start having dreams of Michael until about a year after I started remembering them/keeping a dream journal.

So there's a few options:

1) Michael is my guide/soul mate, who isn't in this life and is using dreams/AP to communicate with me.
2) Michael is real & physical in this life and is dream sharing with me
3) Michael is real but maybe my brain is just using his face and physical presence to represent a guide of my own subconscious creation

All of which I think are pretty plausible and there's evidence pointing in each direction. I would like to think that he's real and physical in this life, but my scientific sense are pointing to option #3.

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Re: Moxie's Journal

Post by hydro1 » October 8th, 2017, 9:06 am

ok just read the first 2 APs, and I would like to say yes, yes I name my experiences, to lure people in, and I don't disappoint lol. Now as for your first one, it happened to me as well with the floating towards the ceiling, but I didn't let it get to the ceiling, cause at the time I didn't even know what AP was at the time and I thought I died, so I cut that short by freaking out and got back in body, once back in I decided to be a risk taker, cause I thought it was cool and tried again with no success. For the second one its hard to label it, but it is between a projection and Sleep Paralysis, cause you were stuck in body but able to see out your astral eyes, and you saw a being, making it seem more SP to me, but it was still an experience tho. Will get to more of your experience in another day or so.
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Re: Moxie's Journal

Post by MoxieMerle » October 20th, 2017, 2:15 pm

This is the first vivid dream I've had in a really long time, so I decided to share it here (also because hand writing it would KILLL my hand.)

Ville Valo and the Bizpop Drugs.

Okay so the first half of the dream started off at my work (a cafe). It was past close, but there was some kind of family reunion going on. I noticed that I knew almost everyone there, but the people I didn't know had accents. There were two people I recognized that were not my family, though - it was Kari and Anita Valo (Villa Valo's parents). Once I recognized them, I knew the other half of people that I didn't know was all of Ville's family. Most of us were behind the counter area where the employees would work during the day, which must have meant that the entire building (or at least my section of work) was 3x as big as it actually is. I remember being really happy, despite not really liking my family. I knew I had to host this party just to stop them from bitching if they ever found out (I'll say about what later). I was behind the bar, and I was talking to some friends of mine that decided to swing by to say congratulations.
Ville was standing behind them. He was wearing a long grey petty coat with his black ivy cap on, his hair neatly slicked back away from his face. Actually, everyone was dressed really nice, I had noticed, except for myself. I was in my normal work clothes with my hair in a bun. Ville didn't say anything and just grinned, raising his eyebrows and walking away in some silly way. I laughed because I knew he was trying to get out of mingling with everyone. My grandma came up to talk to me, but Ville kept making silly faces at me as he was leaving, and I laughed so hard I couldn't even talk, I had tears strolling down my face. Once he 'twirled' out the door and away from the cafe (there's a hallway outside of our glass doors - we're connected to another restaurant inside the building) into the hallway, I wiped the tears away and focused on my grandma. "I'm sorry," I said, still kind of laughing, "Ville's just being silly." She scoffed and patted my arm, "Oh, well go talk to him hun! Congratulations!" I thanked her and she walked away. Before I could go out and talk to him, though, I saw his parents and approached them. I'd never met them in person before - only seen pictures. They both seemed like they were starting to show their age (mid-late 60s), but still had beautiful complexions nonetheless, and looked very healthy. I introduced myself to them, and we exchanged embraces. They knew English, but not as well as Ville did, so it was a little difficult to understand them (I can't remember what we said in the dream - probably saying how it was nice to meet each other and 'congrats')
In the corner of my eye, I could see Ville making faces at me still from behind the glass door, but made sure he wasn't being really noticed by anyone else. After chatting for a few minutes with his parents, we said a temporary fairwell, and I went out into the hallway by Ville. We were out of sight from the group, and the restaurant across the hallway was closed. "What are you doing?" I asked him, a big smile on my face. He took my hands and started to dance with me. "Not mingling." He simply stated, kind of chuckling. I made him stop dancing and took his hand, tugging him towards the cafe. "Well c'mon, go mingle!" But Ville didn't budge. He just pursed his lips and shook his head. I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head. "Boi you best believe you're gonna go in there and talk to my parents. I talked to yours! It's not that bad!" Ville grimaced briefly and sighed, "Alright, but only as much as I need to - nothing more!" We grinned at each other and he pulled me in for a short kiss. After, I nodded my head to the cafe, "Let's go." I smiled, and tugged him by his hand back into the cafe.
The dream kind of skipped, and we were inside a house, now. It wasn't a house that I recognized, but all the same people were there, give or take a few that might have left. They were mingling all together the same, but this is where the dream started to change for the worse.
Everyone sort of disappeared except for me and Ville, and the house appeared extremely rugged and abandoned, and just in awful shape. The lights didn't work, the kitchen chairs and table were falling apart, there was something weird growing in the sink, all the wood was waterlogged, there was moss growing everywhere. But Ville and I looked exactly the same from just moments before when we were at the party. But it didn't even bother us, though - it was like we knew it was going to happen and we just rolled with it. We were standing in the kitchen when the transition happened, and we made our way down to the basement. On the basement stair ledge, there was a bottle of some strange pink colored stuff. It looked like pepto-bismol. Ville kind of hurried in front of me and grabbed it before I could take a closer look at it. "Ah ah ah," He said, "You need to be EXREMELY careful with this." m: "What is it?" v: "This is one of the most powerful drugs you will ever encounter. It's called Bizpop." (I think that's what it was called? I know it ended with a 'izpop' sound haha). "One drop - not even. If you simply smell it, it will send you to other places entirely." At this point in the dream, I had given up caring. "Alright, let's do it." I shrugged, snatching the bottle from Ville. He didn't try to fight for it back because he didn't want to spill it, but he kept telling me not to do it. But as soon as I opened the cap, I could see him cover his face to shield himself from the gas it gave off.
I instantly just felt like jello. Everything around me seemed extremely blurry, and I started to panic. I could see Ville lean over me, but I was hallucinating now, and I felt a bunch of sharp pains on my neck - I thought it was Ville, thinking he was a vampire biting me. I started screaming and hyperventilating. After what felt like an eternity, I 'woke up' from the drug (not actually, but I thought it had worn off). Everything was clear again and I was calm, except I genuinely believed that Ville and I were vampires now. I rushed downstairs where our stash of goods was, and I started filling up a backpack. "We have to get out of here," I told Ville. "Something's not right, something is hunting us." He knew what I was talking about and grabbed his own backpack, filling it with necessities. We tried our best to be quiet as we left, but we could smell something strange in the air. The air was crisp and cold, but there was no wind. There were no trees, no wildlife, no sun - just a gloomy cloudy day with no life. I saw that the house was the only one around, also, and it was about 20 feet away from the edge of a cliff. We went out the back door and around the back of the house to the side of it, where there was a car. Ville stopped me then, staying extremely still. We listened for a moment. There was something he could hear that I couldn't. "It's here." He whispered, peering over to me. "Go, get in the car, go go go," He panicked, pushing me towards a small, beat up blue car that was about another 30 feet away.
Suddenly, this mutant guy came bursting through the side of the house. He had extremely pale skin and bright red hair with a trimmed beard. He wore a jean jacket with a white shirt and khaki pants. His eyes were blood shot with yellow/orange irises, and his arms were actually made of wood. They were sharp, pointed pieces of wood, though, like they were his own weapons. Ville threw his backpack off onto the ground, and so did I - I went to go join him to fight the mutant off. Ville insisted I go back to the car because I 'didn't know how to use my own strength yet', but I stood by him anyway. I felt this rage build up in the middle of my chest and in my throat, and I could see Ville building up the same rage. He hunched over just slightly, and the mutant thing started coming at us. Before I could even lunge, though, Ville had taken on the mutant himself, and nearly threw him all the way over the cliff ( which was quite a ways away).The mutant struggled to keep his balance on the edge of the cliff, so I went to go finish the job, but Ville tried to stop me for some reason. Just as I was about to lunge at the mutant, it disappeared and I skid to stop. Ville grabbed my arm and we ran inside instead of to the car for some reason. When we got inside, I started having some sort of fit, like a panic attack, and I could hear this loud ringing and everything around me was vibrating. "Moxie take this! Take this Moxie please, you need to!" Ville tried handing me something, but I fell. But as soon as I hit the ground everything was back to normal, and we were suddenly in the living room of the house. There was a scratching noise on the floor boards, and Ville helped me up and away from the living room floor. The floor cracked then, the arm of the mutant smashing its way through the crack, and it swung towards us. "There's no stopping this one, we have to go!" Ville tugged on my arm again, and I saw a bottle of green liquid in his hand that he tried giving me before. I figured that was the reason why we came back inside the house. I think I was walking, but it felt like Ville was just dragging me, but I could see my feet moving beneath me. We got outside and Ville threw me into the back seat of the car.
The scene changed again, but this time it was like I was dreaming inside of a dream. I 'woke up' on the side of the highway. I recognized it as the overpass on Hwy W 26. I had my winter boots on, with my sweat pants and a dark-blue long sleeve shirt on, with a hat. I was soaking wet. It was almost the end of winter - that point where the snow is melting and there's just puddles and small lakes of water everywhere. It was also kind of sleeting out. The wind was awful and made the sleet hurt, like it was pelting you. What was weird though is that nobody had stopped to see if I was okay, so I wondered if I was actually dead. I got up, my body freezing and shivering. I saw a gas station down the road so I started making my way towards it, hoping someone could help me. I struggled walking up the exit ramp, still nobody stopping to help me. I finally made it to the gas station (I think it was a Shell?), and there were two employees standing outside on either side of the door. One of them was a black guy with dreads and a hat on, and the other was a latino guy. Both looked pretty young. They were rapping and beat boxing, and they looked like they were having a good time. I approached them, and somehow I was put in a really good mood just by listening to the melody. The men stopped slowly, smiling at me, but then their smiles faded. I was confused why they stopped, but I asked them if they could help me anyway. They seemed timid about this, but the latino stayed by the door while the black guy went and got something from the shed. When he came back, he threw me a yellow rain poncho, then the two of them booked it inside. I didn't understand why they seemed afraid of me, but I took the poncho anyway and found a warm place to lay down - I realized that I was in a lot of pain.
I suddenly started having a fit again, my whole body shivering and I was hyperventilating, my heart racing way beyond the normal 'moving' heart rate. Everything around me was vibrating, and it felt like I was floating, my body turning to jello once again.
I 'woke up' back at the abandoned house, except this time it looked like it was in much better shape. I actually recognized it as my mom's house (in my waking life) this time. Ville was leaning over me, cradling my head in one hand, shaking me by the shoulder to get me to wake up. "Moxie, wake up!" He was sobbing. His words were muffled and everything was blurry. I kept nodding off in and out of consciousness, but I was actively fighting to stay awake. When I opened my eyes again I could see two police officers also leaning over me, shining their flashlights in my eyes to make sure I was still alive. They brought me to the top of the stairs and laid me flat. I was still really fuzzy and not exactly responsive. I felt them open my mouth and pour a liquid down it. It was thick and goopy, and it tasted like soap and the smell of bleach. I fell back into unconsciousness for what seemed like hours. But when I came back out of it, I was right where they'd laid me down, with all of them still hovering around me. I gasped, taking in gulps of air. Everything was clear now and I sat up. I felt great,surprisingly. Whatever they gave me, it worked as an antidote. The scene skipped and I was sitting at the top of the stairs next to Ville, and the police and medics were explaining to me what happened, telling me that anything I had experienced before waking up was all a hallucination from the 'bizpop' drug. The dream ended.


Just to give you an idea of who I'm talking about:
Ville:
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Re: Moxie's Journal

Post by MoxieMerle » November 6th, 2017, 10:17 pm

Lucid Dream/AP Crossover: 11/5/2017


I don't really remember the beginning of the dream, but where I started remembering it, I was at my high school, nearly running down the staircases. I think I was running from something, or running to something in a hurry. Just when I thought I was at the bottom of the stair case and able to go to the next floor, they kept going down and turning, like a spiral staircase, except they were more box-like. In my dream, I knew that was odd and I thought to myself, 'there is no way there are this many stairs in this school', and the dream began getting more clear. I wasn't quite lucid at this point, but the staircases finally stopped and I was able to enter the next lowest floor. There were windows where there should have been full classrooms, but where the windows stopped, the hallway began and it was completely dark. I looked at my hand then, noticing it was strange. I did a reality check, then - I had all of my fingers, but I was missing the tattoo on my left hand ring finger, and my hand felt weird and sort of numb. I kind of gasped, "Oh, I'm dreaming!" I told myself. I was more excited than anything, but something was still sort of scaring me, and I think it was just the fact that the school seemed eerily quiet and just dead-feeling (if that makes sense?). At that point, everything around me became a lot more vivid. It was almost like I just stepped through a bubble that made everything foggy, and when I got to the other side of the bubble, it was as clear as day. In my dream I thought 'Oh this is like how the Claridream was describing! But I'm not on claridream right now...', and then I snapped back into focus and talked to myself out loud in the dream. "Okay, I'm dreaming, but I need to stay awake." I kept telling myself. It kept me lucid enough to remember what I was in this for. I yelled for Michael, but the school just echoed, with no response. I tried calling for him again. That's when my body started vibrating, and I looked down at my hand again. Every time I moved my hand, it would look like there were two hands, except one was almost see-through. I realized then that I was in the vibrational state for Astral Projection, and I took a deep breath. "Okay, I have to astral project now." I closed my eyes and brought my consciousness to outside of my dream and to my waking-life body. I could feel my astral body starting to lay down flat (my physical body was laying on its side). I tried letting my astral body do it's own thing and float off, but my vision flickered between the dream, my physical body, and my astral body, and then I woke up (I'm assuming because my eyelids started flickering on my physical body).



I'm pretty proud and excited about this experience. I've been doing the hand/finger counting reality check practice for quite some time now, but I haven't been recording in my dream journal consistently or even recently, so this was a surprise to me. Also, I think this may have been sparked from Hydro's post/my research on the Claridream herbal capsule/supplements. I mean, if that was a normal lucid dream, then taking Claridream must be a wild ride (if you haven't checked out the post yet, do it, and look up Claridream!).

Anyway, just thought I'd share this! It makes me hopeful for more(:

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