The Ferry of Conundrums

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Summerlander

The Ferry of Conundrums

Post by Summerlander » December 17th, 2012, 7:45 pm

Date: 14/12/2012
Planned method: dream consciousness
Bedtime: 12.30am
Awakening: 2.15am (used the loo)
Return to bed: 2.25am (intention)
Attempt: successful
Phase experience: the ferry of conundrums


I went to bed at 12.30am immediately after drinking a pint of water. Two hours later I was up and using the loo. After a few minutes, I returned to bed and relaxed with an intention to gain dream consciousness firmly in mind. I didn’t mind if I fell asleep and there was no perceived separation from the physical body. As my relaxation quickly progressed, a lapse in consciousness occurred. When I came to, there was a pulsating hiss in my head. It felt like my pineal gland was opening the doors to the phase, so to speak, and I recognised the potential to enter it. I made no effort to take advantage of such opportunity, however, and the reason at the time might have been because I wished to face the challenge of becoming conscious in a dream. I became unconscious again and fell into a dream.

I met up with my friend Darragh and went to a beach to play some football. We have played football many times in real life, but, what is unusual about this situation is the beach environment. We have never gone to a beach together in real life and it would make sense to play football at the Centenary Park resort that he manages. Despite the dream cues, I remained mindlessly ignorant about the dream state I was in. Before I knew it, he was driving me home in a sports car (he does not own one). As we travelled through town (which looked more like Lisbon than London) I became anxious about his driving - an inner awareness in this particular situation that I have registered as a dream sign in my journal. Despite being presented with a common dream situation I still remained non-lucid. After arriving home (my in-laws’ - another dream sign) safely, I thought that perhaps my lack of confidence in Darragh’s driving skills were unwarranted. We were going to have roast dinner with the family and I sat at the table while Darragh went to the bathroom. When Darragh returned, we had to shift the table in order to accommodate him. It was awkward. Everyone was moving the table towards me and lifting it to the point where its edge was by my neck and it was trapping me against the staircase in the living room (that’s right, another sign - my in-laws eat in the kitchen in reality even if they have guests).

In another dream segment, me, my mother and Stacey were driven to a dock by Darragh. At first, we were exploring, but then, the situation changed and we were trying to get to a ferry that was moored at a considerable distance from the coast. The only way to reach the ferry was a pier walkway that stretched far enough but we were having trouble getting to it from alongshore. Bad weather was looming and my mother was concerned about going down some steps leading to a side of the pier that was threatened by lightening. We eventually found safer ground and I decided to look up out of curiosity. The sky was strangely divided by good and bad weather and a peculiar dark cloud formation that appeared pixelated in three dimensions caught my eye. I was amazed by this sight but only questioned my reality when I noticed the surreal way in which smoke from a row of chimneys alongshore and the pixelated clouds intermingled in the sky. “What am I doing here?” - the thought popped in my head. I was now way ahead of the others on the pier walkway and close to the ferry. Despite the distance between me and them, I could hear them loud and clear talking amongst themselves about caution.

I became lucid and started rubbing my hands together in order to remain in the dream world. I wanted to see where the dream plot would have led me so I entered the ferry with the intention to explore. I wanted the dream characters to accompany me and comment on whatever I found inside. Surprisingly, they did as I wished and did not disappear as usual (in my case) when the phase state is entered from a dream. Inside the ferry, the environment made me feel like I was in a computer game like Quake and the three simulations of people I know and love followed close behind. We used a lift to get to a lower level and no buttons needed to be pressed. There was a descent sensation which I thought helped to maintain the phase.

The lower level looked no different but I found an intriguing inscription on a brick wall which conveyed deep philosophical feelings and strangely seemed to have more meaning that way than what it actually read. On closer inspection, it was difficult to read but part of the concept that was expressed included the words “life” and “dream”. My mother tried to read it but seemed as clueless as I was. Her attempts echoed in my head and I decided to proceed onwards. I rubbed my hands together one more time in order to maintain the phase. I was fully conscious whilst attempting to read the inscription but the message, or whatever it was behind it, was elusive and lost. If I were to retrieve whatever the inscription symbolised in full I think I’d have to look in the more abstract side of my mind. I felt that looking at letters wouldn’t do - especially when the language centres in my brain were largely inactive.

We walked along a corridor and found a restaurant full of people at the end. I thought about the possibility of sharing a dream with my mother so I asked her simulation what I should say to her that would remind her of having had this dream (if indeed such was the case). She asked me to repeat any number to her so I said “5-5-5” (the first thing that came into my lucid mind). While I repeated the number to her, I reminded myself that I was dreaming just in case I lost consciousness. I’m glad I did this, because, moments later, I caught myself sitting down at a reception area to wait for a table to dine with my familiars. I jolted up and began to pace up and down and feeling myself stomping on the floor to prevent falling asleep or fouling. It took me a few seconds to realise that there was no point in waiting for a table. Later, upon waking, I would ponder about this. The phase state is not stable and must be maintained. Also, perhaps my wish to see where a dream plot would have led me came true. Theoretically, if I hadn’t entered the phase, I might have non-lucidly found myself at this very restaurant.

A group of people entered the restaurant and my familiars started to socialise with them. Amidst the crowd, a young man was familiar to me but I couldn’t place him initially. Then, I recognised him to be a fellow phaser. Later, in wakefulness, I would realise that this recognition was based on false memory and that the man does not exist in waking life. I can only posit that my dreaming mind was taking charge again. Another possibility is that, because this phaser character partially looked like Jason (an acquaintance I’ve spoken to about the phase), it could be that the element of knowing him might have helped to reinforce a delusional state of false memory and reasoning. However, I did not recognise the phase character as being Jason. Another inconsistency is that, in reality, Jason only showed a partial interest in the phase state when we spoke about it and we only spoke about it once. In the phase, the character was recognised to be an experienced phase practitioner and someone with whom I had discussed altered states of consciousness several times. It seems to me now that simply wishing for an answer to the vague sense of familiarity led to the concoction of an apparent truth.

The man smiled and seemed pleased to see me there. We briefly discussed the possibility of sharing dreams and remembered that I was supposed to remind my mother of “5-5-5” in order to test the shared dreaming concept. I looked around the restaurant for my mother but she had disappeared. A voice from the crowd told me that she was in the “unauthorised area”, and, as I examined the restaurant, I found a guarded entrance to a massive metallic kitchen. I took this to be the “unauthorised area” and could see cooks milling about in there. I tried to go in but the bouncers blocked me and one of them told me that I wasn’t allowed in there. I told them I was trying to reach my mother. They just stared at me in silence. “Can I ring her at least?” - I asked while rubbing my palms together and feeling the warmth.

The black bouncer took me to a little round table with a massive grey telephone. Its buttons displayed fractions (which reminded me of bookmaker odds) instead of single digits. The bouncer dialled “5/2”, “5/8” and “5/10” and handed me the phone. “Three fives!” - I thought to myself. I heard my mother’s voice telling me that she had “crossed over” and would not wake up. My eyes welled up with grief even though I knew I was dreaming. I began to fear that somehow this phase experience was reflecting real life events. My mother told me to make the most of my life and the bouncer took the phone. Involuntarily, I teleported outside the ferry and could feel tears streaming down my face as I stood on the pier and stared into the murky horizon between the blue sky and the calm sea. A fresh breeze caressed my face and made me feel better.

I thought that perhaps I was overreacting and had nothing to worry about as I ran back to the stationary ferry. After all, I was in the phase and the chances were that the words “crossed over” might have been subconsciously tagged with a schema whereby my mother communicated with me from her afterlife. As I stepped onto the ferry to tell known characters about the situation, I noticed that I was wearing a grey suit and tie. It made me feel smart and ready to get to the bottom of where that scenario had come from by asking the people on the ferry. My familiars were nowhere to be seen, and, as I woke up, I was immediately struck by the intensity of the phase and the vivid memory of the ordinary dream that preceded it.

Fortunately, my mother is okay but I never got round to asking her what she dreamt about - something that should have been done as soon as I woke up and while the memory of dreaming was still fresh in her mind. I also wonder if the words “unauthorised area” was my subconscious informing me that contacting my mother via shared dreaming or reaching someone else’s mind was either restricted at the time, or totally impossible. The latter can be concluded if we surmise that another’s mind is out-of-bounds on the premise that the individuated psyche has no authority elsewhere but its own domain.

The phase = lucid dreaming / out-of-body experience / astral projection

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