my progress (December)

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avalinah
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my progress

Post by avalinah » December 8th, 2011, 3:14 am

had a really sad dream tonight.. about the person who left me. since he hates me now, he doesn't even contact me.. in the dream it seemed that he'd changed his mind. there was a funny way to reach me.. when i wasn't looking, he'd open a portal and could stick a hand through my computer screen. when i understood that, i started leaving him letters. i remember writing him letters. as always, the text in my dreams is perfectly legible and static.. i don't remember most of what i wrote, but i wrote two letters.. i wrote one in my language, having forgotten he doesn't understand it and had to rewrite it too..
then i remember leaving to this park in the woods, with friends. and i remember that mom called that he tried contacting me all day but i wasn't there. i was crying because i couldn't reach him, and seems that everything got in the way.. then i tried to come back home, but it was very hard to even climb to the place where we had left our cars. suddenly my mom was there, she was helping me climb.. and there were these hills, they were small, but muddy and very slippery. i would have died if i had fallen, and i kept slipping. i pushed mom ahead of me, decided to rather risk it myself. then she tried lifting me, and i found ways upon ways, but none of them worked, i slipped off each one..


then i woke up, turned on the computer.. and my friend was there. i was surprised that he's there in the morning, as i had never seen him there in the morning, nor do i turn on the PC in the morning myself. that was a little weird i thought, but it didn't help me understand that this is a FA -.- i told my friend about my sad dream, while he was telling me of two dreams that he had.. then i woke up for real and noticed i forgot to even set the alarm yesterday :(

when i woke up in that FA, i had thoughts of DEILD, but i didn't even want to try. after such a sad dream, who would want to go back..

EDIT: this was a prophetic dream o_o that same day he contacted me after a long silence..
Last edited by avalinah on December 9th, 2011, 9:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Summerlander

my progress

Post by Summerlander » December 8th, 2011, 3:55 pm

Why did he leave you and why do you think he hates you? What did you do?

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avalinah
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2011-12-09

Post by avalinah » December 9th, 2011, 2:17 am

So i guess i was gonna have a LD but that didn't happen :p i didn't even remember my dreams till i looked at the mirror. But then i did -.- and apparently it wasn't pleasant at all. I was sitting somewhere with my workmates (wasn't the office, maybe some dream office though :p), and this guy came and stood behind the door for a long while. He looked like a policeman, so we didn't worry, but he had a gun. After a while he rushed in and as it turned out, he was only posing as a policeman. He was after me.. My workmates didn't do anything, and i ran to the back of the room. He shot somewhere, and i decided to play dead, as if he hit me. I feel behind his bed.. He came back to check up on me.. But he saw no blood. So he kicked me. And kicked me again, and hit me.. It was horrible, i could feel it all. And then he left, and i was glad i was still alive. I remember walking around later doing things, but i had to wear heavy make up.. I was all covered in bruises. I remember my eye was blue. That made me sad..

So much for having a LD :p

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Astralnaut
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my progress

Post by Astralnaut » December 9th, 2011, 12:29 pm

Next time use a minigun against evil doers :D

goodluck

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avalinah
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2011-12-10

Post by avalinah » December 10th, 2011, 12:52 pm

yes! yes!! finally! ^_^

so i had a LD tonight :) turns out, i need to be in a very good mood for the intention to work. i also reinforce the intention when i meditated before my sleep :) i also tend to think i don't get LDs when i get less time to sleep. but that might not be true! cause i had my LD at 6:40, and even during weekdays, i am still sleeping at that time :)

btw, i think i finally managed to create my first ever dream sign! that never seemed to work. one night last week there was a really beautiful moon up in the sky, and all the time while i was out, i kept looking at it, RCing and telling myself that if i see it in a dream, i'll realise i'm dreaming. and this dream became lucid exactly because of the moon ^_^

so the dream. at first it was a normal dream. me and my friend (who is now in England, working) were walking down this road. there was more to the dream before that but i barely remember. anyway, we were walking this pavement near a road.. and talking. i looked at the sky, and amidst the clouds there were 5 moons! rather, it was like.. like there were many reflections, and they kept shifting, changing. i looked and said, this is weird.. Giedre, do you see 5 moons also? she said, no, i only see one, why? then i realised i must RC. and i did, and it worked. i was happy, but as always it started fading. but i didn't give up. i was still there, i just couldn't see. so i kept walking, and walking. i walked for a really long time, just in a straight road in total blackness, in the void. after a while things started appearing again, but this time i started seriously slipping. then i decided to try spinning (although this has never worked previously). it took two tries, but it worked so well. soon a world appeared, but it was.. wow. it was what i didn't expect at all. i hadn't had such a clear and vivid LD since one of my first ones. it was so stable, so solid.. even the pavement was entirely solid as a rock.. the whole world was built much more differently than in my usual dreams or LDs. my lucidity was very high also, but the vividness was at 100%, i think, because i could see so much detail, so much clarity.

i was on the same road, but it wasn't night anymore. it was the middle of a bright day, and there were beautiful fir trees along the road, and a forest on the other side.
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i started by flying up, and swinging from one fir branch to the other (like Tarzan XD half flying though). i felt such a rush, because i could feel EVERYTHING. i felt the gravity pulling me back, felt a little dangerous, but it was even more fun that way. i even felt the wind! i also felt the fir's needles in my palm. and the smell of the firs! i've never had such a vivid LD i think o_o

after a little while of this, i reached an entrance to this forest. there was a beautiful small forest lake.. its waters were extremely clear, very blue but there were a lot of leaves and fir needles in it. at first i wanted to take a swim, but then i thought, i'd need to clean the lake with my lucid powers, and i don't want to waste time with that, so i decided to skip that lake. i saw a classmate there though, smiled and said hi :) i think there was a mushroom-shaped tiny building there too :)

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so i moved on to the forest. there was a meadow of extreme beauty.. not quite a meadow, but as it is in forests often, it was covered in beautiful bright green moss. but that's not all, it had these beautiful violet-blue flowers blooming on it. it looked truly magical. i flew over it, it was breathtaking. also there were tall fir or sequoia type trees growing around that meadow. i could see the blue sky through their trunks as well.

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at that time i decided i need to go try and find the TARDIS. try to meet the Doctor, time travel or something. and so i thought, the TARDIS is in this field right next to the forest. it was just a barren field, and indeed i found a TARDIS standing there. but it was.. sort of shabby. didn't look like the real thing.. nonetheless, i decided to go in. but it seems that always when i reach the TARDIS, it's an impediment to my lucidity. so i went in, i saw the Doctor (the 10th, of course) messing aroung with a screwdriver around the controls. he waved to me and greeted me happily. but everything started fading.. and it felt more of a day dream rather than a dream.. i even thought to myself, am i still dreaming, or am i awake..?


then i woke up. it was morning. i tried the SOBT methods but nothing seemed to work. so i started writing down my dream. didn't think it was weird that the stamp i use for marking the date was in red ink. and the pen was red.. mom came and told me to go look at the cat cause she's being cute, and i said go away i'm writing down my LD :D

and then i woke up XD damn!! haha, it's ridiculous, that was a FA :D and it totally tricked me xD oh well. but even if i had realised it wouldn't have been the same awesome place, and the dream was very long and vivid, so i can't ask for more in one day, i guess :)

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avalinah
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2012-12-(12-13)

Post by avalinah » December 13th, 2011, 9:24 am

i haven't been posting. but then nobody's reading anyway XD

on Sunday i had this really messed up dream where i was in this opera theatre/parliament, sort of. i have once had a dream in an opera theatre, and it was horrible slaughter. kind of the same thing time (i go to the opera house pretty often too XD i just don't get this, lol :lol: ).. it was with blood dripping, and gah >_<

then i also had some dream where my dream sign - the moon showed up. but then i woke up.

then today i had a dream that me and my boyfriend (RL) were going to a dance party, but he never showed up :(


my recall hasn't been good though. not good at all :p and i was too tired tonight to dream, probably xD not enough sleep..

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OmkAR
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my progress (December)

Post by OmkAR » December 13th, 2011, 9:42 pm

tss, im reading, i just dont respond much :P

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avalinah
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my progress (December)

Post by avalinah » December 15th, 2011, 4:32 pm

good! i'll keep that in mind then :D

too bad i forgot my dream from today then >_>

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my progress (December)

Post by avalinah » December 16th, 2011, 3:27 am

i had plenty of dreams tonight.

the first one was pretty uneasy. me and mom were driving around the neighbourhood and spotted a truck with fireworks.. and it was burning. we got scared it would explode and escaped. suddenly i had a burning piece of the stuff in my hand :lol: and then i dropped it. we escaped, went to the mall, and i constantly feared they'd take me under arrest for dropping something dangerous XD

then in the next dream i was in the opera theatre. there was some kind of a contest, and i thought i knew the play, but i couldn't remember it. after that there was like a session where they taught us about stage decorations, the technology and lighting. they let me play with an RGB lamp :) it was fun. then i remember there was a significant person to me and we spent some time together too. later as i was leaving, the theatre offered me a job :) great dream, really.

in the next one - just before waking up - i was walking down the street, thinking of RCing. so i did, and i also tried levitating - so a few tricks. but none of them worked. i guess i thought i really wasn't dreaming :p but it was a really shallow dream just before getting up anyway. i'm glad i tried though.

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2012-12-17

Post by avalinah » December 17th, 2011, 1:04 pm

i had a lot of DEILDs today!!

so first of all i was having this normal dream where me and my mother were like secret agents. i don't remember a lot of it, but we were fighting a lot of people and it was pretty cool. in the end though, when we had won and finished our mission (i remember wrestling some people around, that was cool), we realised we need to run. because apparently we were in Yokohama and it was going to explode o_o rather.. there was a nuke plant and it was going to explode. so we sat in our car and just started driving, fast. it was sundown. it was quite scary, but i felt confident.

right after this i woke up, but i woke up in the void. knowing that, i knew i should try DEILD. i don't remember what i tried first.. i think it was fast counting.. didn't work, then i tried moving my hands.. cause i felt like they were loose. like, not moving, but imagining they're moving. they were getting more and more loose, i was moving them like this:

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but i could feel the covers with my hands (so i thought), which i started worrying that i was actually doing this IRL. then i realised i should do a RC. i did it, and to my big surprise, this was already in the phase. so i tried getting up.. i think this room appeared in front of me.. it was kind of like my room, but it was completely black and white. i found that really weird. the getting up failed though, because i was right back in the void. no room again. so i tried moving again.. nothing this time.. i tried rolling out, and in the first time in my life rolling out actually worked! :D i was back in the black and white room (only i was in colour, lol).. but shortly i was back in the void again. it was getting old. i was afraid to do moving exits because i constantly worried that i would move my real body. so i came up with another way.

i started visualizing my room. and the same black and white room appeared. but i wasn't sure if this was still the phase. which is weird enough, because it was black and white.. guess that wasn't enough for me :p so i made it black out again and came up with an idea that i have to put something there so i'd know it's really not my RL room. so i don't know.. it was something random. more like my subconscious came up with it than me. yesterday i was hanging out with friends, we were kinda celebrating one girl's birthday. so i think this influenced it, because when my room appeared once again, it was same as black and white, but it had nice balloons in it. and it was my birthday there! i don't know how i knew, but i just somehow knew, that was the vibe there :p i should say i quite enjoyed it :) i whipped up a picture of how it looked, kind of. except oops, i forgot to make the room black and white xD so imagine it like that please xD only the balloons were in colour :)

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i finally got up in a while. i was wearing the clothes i last wore on the day of my university graduation (june 23rd). that was interesting. i had a LD that day too.

i flew out through the window. the outside was also so nice! i was flying around, and there were the same random balloons, hanging around in mid-air. i grabbed some orange ones and just laughed, and flew. a little bit farther to the road, i landed and started walking. and then i thought of deepening.. tried spinning, but nothing changed. but then i thought i did it as a measure for safety only - my dream was stable enough, it wasn't going anywhere. just in case i tried touching the cars as i was running down the road. it was sooooo realistic too, i could feel the cold metal of the cars.
one thing that's strange is that when you get in the phase, even the simple things - the air, the cars, just walking - seems to give you such joy. why doesn't that happen in the real world? it should. somehow only in the phase i can enjoy being solely for being, being itself. not for fun activities. it's enough just to walk around here, and it brings you joy. isn't that strange?

then i flew some more.. i think i blacked out several times, and had to come back to the same spot the same way. at the time i was thinking "OmkAR's gonna be so proud of me, i'm doing some 6 DEILDs here".. and weirdly, as thoughts always materialise in the phase, i saw some kind of a ghosty OmkAR saying something to me and waving. i think i gave him a high five and flew off.

the road was turning into a forest road (it shouldn't, i live in the city). i was walking and i remembered that i had promised Stefan to visit him in my next LD. so i chose to do that. i walked and considered my options of how i should make that happen. at first i thought i would check doors, although i knew that method has previously not worked with me. but i noticed this sort of.. shed, i don't know, the type they have for electrical stuff in the fields? kind of like that, except it was higher, like a tower, with a second floor and possibly an antenna:

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i opened the door, fearing a little bit about what would be inside.. calling out Stefan's name. but it was empty. i even looked behind the door :lol: there was another door in front though. opened that one, calling Stefan.. nothing again. and a third door. opened that one and exited out :p so that was pretty useless, lol. i decided to move on, but i went out through the first door. you never know where you could end up if you go out another door.. even if it looks like it leads to the same place, lol.

i decided to fly some more. now i was in a forest completely. and i saw a house.. and started losing my lucidity. i think it's because i knew Stefan's in that house. i have always lost lucidity when i meet someone - be it him, or the Doctor, or.. maybe i'm not ready to meet people yet? they make me forget. i think i'm going to explode more the next times, i need training.

anyway, the house was a strange house in the forest. with a yard too. Stefan was waving from the gate.. and suddenly i thought (first sign of losing lucidity), why did i think that me and Stefan had never really met? we met here.. once. that's clearly a false memory xD but it was a soothing one. i accepted it and there we go, no more lucidity.

but it was okay. i spent some time there with him on that strange farm.. his family also lived there. but the rest of the dream was weird.. i think it was mostly made of false memory episodes, because it felt really long, but it was constantly breaking up. i remember though, one of his little brothers was wishing me a happy birthday :) that was cute. and overall, it turned into a cute normal dream.

i need more training though, to not lose lucidity. next time i'll just be exploring. probably just the surroundings, they can be very interesting. i had an idea to travel through a Stargate too :) but i'm thinking that would be a big shock, i'd either wake up or just lose lucidity. so maybe that's for later. cause it's like a TARDIS, which always takes away my lucidity too :p

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