i may just be rambling on here but its my belief, if you don't like unrealistic things this post isn't for you.
I was under the notion that, Ap was suppose to be able to help you bring your desires to fruition, even if its, not of a real event/thing, even if what it is i'm trying to achieve happens as a placebo effect i'll take it, placebo effects help bring things out of you, that was already there, so me experiencing it as that astrally, would even be satisfying, I want to do it so that I can be satisfied in saying I did it, and maybe get a result, if it don't heed the results I want, I can at least say I tried, I don't think I can just let it go cause I been chasing for so long, I want to do it so I can just move on, I want to complete something in my pathetic life. Heck if people can create beings, out of fear astrally, why can't I get this created, even if it's not real, most of those beings aren't real but they are created.
Also i'm sure that my higher self probably is just me at my best, I would still be satisfied with it, because its me being all the things I ever wanted to be or accomplish, to tell the truth I wouldn't even want to be on the bad side of that me, everything I ever thought of being and wanted to be is that me, and just to give a example of what that me would be like, a hero, psychic, teleporter, telepathic, telekinesis, do I need to go on, and that is just some of the stuff I suspect that me would be, again I would be satisfied even if its done as a placebo effect maybe it will stir something within me lol. I know this is all wishful thinking.
I also think my problem may lie in my not treating regular dreams, as I would a Projection or Lucid dream it is an experience too I guess, but I hold Astral Projection and lucid dreaming in high regard, and I hold AP Higher than both, cause I thing it will give physical results, like life changing results as apposed to the other two. Take for instance the whole reason I want to project is to do this one thing that I hold dear, and that's meeting the higher self thru it and merging, and me I think this merger will heed some physical or mental results that will change me, at least that is what i'm hoping for........
But the way I see it, if it doesn't work that way why let me wait so long to achieve a projection, when i'm so attached to this notion, just for it to fail and not be what exactly happens and it breaks me forever, send me in a deeper depression than I already am, cause I been trying for year upon years to achieve this. I haven't been out since I came to the conclusion that this was what I wanted to pursue. I don't wanna do anything else on the astral until I accomplish this feat first. where as you can't do any of that with a regular dream, and with a Lucid one, it will give little results that are only temporary
so in my book
dreams= no results
Lucid dreams= temporary results
AP= realtime longer results= maybe even permanent
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